RETRY: Mario Kart Wii

Mario Kart!!! This game was the bomb diggity on the 64; in fact I have it both in cartridge form and on the Wii hard drive. Simplistic, yet strangely addicting. But It was one of the first games out for the 64, which was an amazing time during gaming history!! I wish I honestly could relive those days.

But I can't, here we are in the late double 0's and we've moved on. Unfortunately not onto better things.

Mario Kart Wii is yet another attempt to cash in on a system empowered only because it's now the prefered choice among families. Lets face, you home types are complete suckers. If I had to bet, you've probably already bought this game and already agree with what i'm going to say about it.

Oh no Mario Kart, I won't be gentle.

Lets start with the good. Now Nintendo did try to make this a good game; they definitely put some work into this. It's extremely refreshing to have the multiple control styles at your disposal. I prefer using the gamecube controller because it allows me to exert better control over the things I'm trying to do. Using the Wiimote, or in combination with the Wheel tends to make things difficult. Very often you'll find yourself slamming into a wall, or being unable to cut a turn in time. It can otherwise be described as a frantic control scheme. Although interesting, it can make the game frustrating.

I never played Double Dash on the gamecube, so I'm unaware how much updating was done compared to the 64 version. A refreshing aspect of the Wii edition has lots to unlock, from new cups to characters and cars, even motorcyles each with their own stats. So it's nice to see Nintendo has tried to improve upon the formula. The tracks look great, racing through Delfino island made me want to play Super Mario Sunshine again.

Now for the bad. This game suffers from what myself and friends refer to as Wii Syndrome, or simply, sometimes we say the game has been "Wiied". What this means is that in the novelty of the Wii, the game trades in any credibility for some "retard-strong fun". That means that anyone can win, regardless of any kind of strategy. If you're at dead last 30 seconds before the race is over, theres still ways to jump all the way to first and win the race. It's really frustrating when you've worked so hard to maintain first the entire race and that little fucker Baby Mario steals your thunder at the last second, potentially causing you to fall somewhere below 6th place.

This problem is caused the games weapons. Weapons were balanced in previous editions, but theres a decent number of weapons that will fuck you over in one way or another now, inevitably causing you to fall behind. And with 12 people racing, the power weapons are not only received often but launched quickly and in succession. You can turn down the frequency of the items, but it doesn't really do much to solve the problem.

Bullet Bill is one of many fuckhead weapons
used to obliterate the competition

The weapons system itself is the entire cause of this game's shittiness. Any two year old can whoop your ass with the right item (I'm looking at you SSBB). This game has been Wiied, and any fun that can be had from this game can and will be sapped from you in an instant.

Its really sad because thats the only thing really bad about this game. It's just SO bad that it ruins the entire experience. Balance out the weapons, and you have a great, multiplayer game on your hands.

The only fun you can get out of this is if you have three other people in the room playing with you so that you can all share your anger and frustrations. Hopefully you'll throw your Wiimote in a direction other than your TV.

Try it again Nintendo; do it right nex t time